I Was Swallowed By A Hippo

Castle life, Aga strife, slummy mummy, average wife

Drama

It’s been all-go around here lately – break-ups, punch-ups, gay kisses, graduation ceremonies, a near-catastrophic sailing trip and a surprise pregnancy. Wait, WHAT?? Oh yes, that was Dawson’s Creek*, I must stop getting it confused with reality.

Weirdly, reality has almost been more exciting over here in our little corner of ‘where the hell IS that???’. It’s been all TV film crews, gigantic diggers and a near-catastrophic chimney fire around here. We’ve also had a brand-new arrival in the family, which comes top of my lengthy, Fabulous Things list. (Right above the gigantic digger).

Harper Hero -  I have it on good authority that her first name has nothing to do with the Beckhams

Harper Hero – I have it on good authority that her first name has nothing to do with the Beckhams

My gorgeous niece, Harper Hero, was born last week, 4 weeks before she’d planned to say ‘hello world’ but at a good healthy weight. She needed a wee extra stay in special care but has lived up to her fabulous middle name and is due to come home shortly. They are coming to visit in May, from New York, so┬áIt will be another couple of months before I can sniff her fuzzy head. In the mean time I’m making do with daily FaceTime calls to my amazing wee sister who has been plugged in to a hospital grade breast pump for over a week.

The arrival of the gigantic digger on site heralded the start of the construction phase of the hydro electric scheme that has been six years in the planning and the cause of numerous bouts of IBS for my stressed out husband. It is VERY exciting and whilst I can’t claim to have any clue what it will do or how it will work, I do know that it is yet another example of Niall ‘getting shit done’ which he is definitely winning at as I can’t even stay on top of my ironing pile.

Not my dad. Thankfully.

Not my dad. Thankfully.

I can’t really say too much about the film crew as it is Top Secret and may not come to anything but it was a very exciting day and I did briefly feel like a VIP, as opposed to a sleep deprived slummy mummy with dubious personal grooming habits. It did get me thinking (and worrying) about how we would come across on telly though. Someone** once described my family as being one part The Osbournes to two parts The Good Life which perfectly summed up our household of four hormonal, strong-minded women and long-suffering dad with an affinity for home grown vegetables. Thinking about my own special little unit, I would say we are a pleasant mixture of The F@!king Fulfords, Monarch of the Glen and Downton Abbey (if Lady Mary spent her days fishing turds out of baths and cleaning up dog sick).

I’m still too traumatised to talk about the chimney fire which happened on my watch while my husband was away for a few days. If it hadn’t been for the heroic efforts of my father-in-law, breathless from extensive chemotherapy, I shudder to think what might have been. Fingers crossed for some dull moments coming up.

*the end is in sight. Six series in four weeks. There’s one hell of an ironing pile waiting for me.

**I’m pretty sure it was my charming brother-in-law

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