I Was Swallowed By A Hippo

Castle life, Aga strife, slummy mummy, average wife

Seasonal Blackmail

on December 4, 2013

My every waking moment continues to be occupied with all things Christmassy and I can’t help but wonder, what did I do before, when I wasn’t drying oranges, making play-dough stars, crocheting snowflakes or playing God with my Christmas card list? I’m starting to dread January, when there will be NOTHING TO DO. I’m so ahead of myself that my clothes are already too tight and the gluttony hasn’t even begun. Having said that, I STILL haven’t ordered the bloody turkey…


Blatant child exploitation

The biggest tick off my Xmas to-do list was our Christmas card which is now one of those traditions that must be upheld, come hell or high water. It began, innocently enough, when our first-born was a baby and we thought how cute it would be to stick a tea-towel on her head and snap her surrounded by toy sheep, dressed as a biblical shepherd. People LOVED it and it stayed on many a mantelpiece well into the spring. The following year we upped our game with the convenient arrival of our second daughter who was type-cast to play baby Jesus. With the addition of a few tin-foil props and some shoddy PhotoShop(tm) effects we triumphed once more and there was no going back. As they are still little and not yet jaded or cynical, it’s relatively easy to get the children to play along but I realise that eventually they will rebel and refuse to be part of this shameless act of child exploitation. I think we have another two years, maximum. I am delighted with this year’s effort though, and for the first time we’ve splashed out and had it properly printed. This means no blank card and pritt stick marathon for me which will free up at least three evenings to thread up my dried oranges and hang the paper chains.

The children are almost enjoying the preparations as much as me and are just young enough not to be demanding of every toy in the Tesco Gift Guide but still old enough to properly enjoy all the glittery, crafty homemade stuff (when my blood pressure is low enough for me to let them join in….). They are also at that truly wonderful stage where they respond brilliantly to Christmas blackmail. I have been shamelessly wielding the threat of Santa not coming and disallowing advent sweets for petty misdemeanours. Behavior has been transformed and mealtimes are almost bearable. This is another reason to dread the new year. It’s a long wait til the Easter bunny and I don’t think he has the same clout.

In other, non-festive news, we have waved off our last lot of WWOOFers, I have successfully catered a lunch for 22 people and best of all, I have become a Guest Blogger! Happy days.


3 responses to “Seasonal Blackmail

  1. teaistheanswer2013 says:

    When do we get to see the card? Pony up lady and share the festive cheer!

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